dea del sesso update

hello all.i am doing well.i had my staples taken out thursday.i had 26 total
they ended up removing everything.uterus,tubes and ovaries.the mass in my uterus ended up weighing 3.5 pounds and it was begnign,so all is well
thank all of you for your support and phone calls and gifts.i have the best family anyone could possibly hope for.i love you all

Highpriestessgnome

I have had some computer dificulties but my incrediablly smart son finally found time to fit me in and has my computer back up and running. I have tried to catch up on some of the messages and continue to be amazed at the CREATIVE writing styles of some of our family gnome members. I love you all very much. Did have a question on the keeping SANE issue concerning Tony. Not quite sure the word sane is an appropriate adjective to describe our wonderful brother. Hope to see most of you in June. love all y'all

From the Queen Mum

To all the fruit of my loins. Thank you all for the M.D. prose and cards. So neat I bet that no other Mothers got something so incredibly imaginative especially the Older Son's soliliquey. I had a great mothers day, dragged out of bed at 5a.m to face the freezing cold and rainy Hoosier morning after doing my duty to #3 gnome son and #3 gnome daughter with my presence to view my newest granddaughter and the fine stapling of#3 daughter's tummy,by Dr. WeeWee who had a cute little lisp.
My #4 Gnome daughter put me in a wheelchair at the airport and kept me in there so she could get lots of attention from other travelers saying "What a good and selfsacrificing daughter she was'' She bought me a cinnabun to keep me quiet. Bless her.
Anyway we got home and just as I got all settled in bed for a nice nap here comes #2 gnome son bearing gifts and pontificating all over the place.
Got to go Dad is grilling steaks .
I do love you all very much. Thank you again for everthing can't wait to see you all in June.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers' Day To The Queen!
(designed by Barb)












May your day be full of fun and happy memories. Love from: papagnome and the fruit of your loins, Nancy(highpriestess) Barb (mountainwitch), Teresa (dea del sesso), Jim (Director of human oddities), Rae(itsallaboutme),Kim(princessgnomekim), Emily(marshgnome),Tony(director of mutant affairs) and Vinnie(wizardgnome).............

On several dark, cloudy days, the queen gnome was seduced by the rancid evil Old Crow who deposited his demon seed around her fertile loins. The seed spawned and gave rise to mountain withces and various other gnomatic creatures who scattered the earth continuing to produce generations of other putrid gnomatic gargoyles and the like. But on one occasion, a bright, beautiful, sunny and glorios day, as the queen danced among the tall elms and royal oaks, she was visited by the handsome and charming Oddyssius Maximus. With his quick wit and smiling eyes, this god also seduced the queen - as though this was some great feat - and provided her the opportunity to bring forth an offspring so great, so intelligent, and so magnificent that he would overshadow all of the other horrific creatures spawned by the Old Crow. When he was brought forth to the earth, the brilliance of this magnificent son was so evident one merely had to look into his eyes to know that he would lord over all the oddities previously and subsequently brought forth by the queen. In mockery of the Old Crow and in recognition of the brilliant nature of his new son, Oddyssius donned him Jim (as in Beam - Old Crow's arch rival) and immediately proclaimed him the Director of all human (and gnomatic) oddities! Old Crow was furious and made many attempts to match the quality of seed of Oddyssius. He made valiant efforts and on the fourth attempt came very close when the Queen finally produced another son. But, alas, knowing that this spawn still fell short, he made one last attempt. The resulting oddity produced - though in deed another male - was so hideously odd, the Old Crow gave up trying, abandoned all his efforts with the Queen. Thinking it was the Queen's fault and not his own, the Old Crow made attempts with other nefarious gnomtic creatures. Finally, realizing his attempts were futile, he gave up and lived the rest of his pathetic existence in isolation. The Queen, on the other hand, lived a long life, growing plump and cheerful. She eventually met a prince who took her away from the forest and the temptation to produce more offspring. Realizing that she had already produced the ultimate son, she resigned herself to produce no more, but to merely bask in the brilliance of her first - and greatest - sons. On this occasion, the director proclaims his honor and love for the Queen, and thanks her for realizing the greatness she has produced! Happy Gnomether's Day!

Dahling: Hope you have a spring back in your step today. Enjoy. Make sure Aurelia and Tony take you out for the rest of us. That's why I gave them all that money they asked for. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, princessgnomekim

As usual mother, I will be the only daughter with you on Mother's Day. I will, as usual, take great care of you because you are the greatest mommy on the earth.
I love you. Lots more than the rest of your fruit.......Aurelia

Mommy, I hope you have a wonderful day! I wish I could be there to spend it with you! You'll be in my thoughts all day! I miss you and love you lots! love, your baby girl - Emily

Lindsey's Prom pic

As you see from Lindsey's prom picture, she and Maddie are as different as day and night but equally as beautiful, sweet and definitely very LOVED! Anyway, the boys are also as different as day and night. Bob is a true blue down home all-american farm boy! He loves Lindsey and his tractor too! In the fall he will be going to school for engineering (he's a smart farm boy). But just to let you know he's not perfect. (I hear he throws the best keggers in Dodge county) Damn farm boys!

Hey anonymous from mountainwitchgnome

If by chance you ever come back to our site you might want to read the comments left for you and I hope you have the courage to leave your name. For those of you wanting to know what this is all about read the comments left on mountainwitchgnome says posted in April.........

mountainwitchgnome says Update

Hi All,
I just wanted to remind you all that Teresa has her surgery tomorrow 5-11-06. They have decided to do a complete histarectomy(spelling) so hopefully she wont have anymore problems.
Please keep her in your prayers.
Thanks Mom and Rae for going to be with Teresa as I believe we would all like to be with her but cant.
Update: 5/11/06
The surgery went great and it wasn't cancerous. She will be in the hospital for two days. I will post her room number and phone number when I get it.
Teresa is at Good Sam in room 964 bed 1 phone number 513-872-1397.
Love ya,
Barb

This is so wrong but funny

Here is a link to a Spec show we did for Comedy Central. It has not been picked up yet, but who knows. I'm the one in pearls, don't blink.

http://www.zombieroadfilms.com/

prom pictures of psuedo asian gnome, aka maddie

first of all, i just want to know why ALL of you failed to tell me about this way cool blogger thing.

here are some amazing pictures of me from my senior prom, which took place about a week and a half ago. these pictures prove yet again that i am the best looking one in the family.

love, maddie :)

ps- that is my boyfriend in the pictures. his name is michael and he's completely amazing- goes to church regularly, makes me laugh, doesn't make me cry, supports me, loves my family, and has about 50 tattoos and a white gold diamond cut grill.

A Thank You From Brother Anthony

Dear Family,

Today is May 2nd, 2006, the second anniversary of my being wounded in Iraq. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for the prayers and support you gave to me during the past two years. I thank the Lord every night for letting me be born into such an incredible, close, strange, diverse, and wonderful family. It was you who kept me alive when I was hit, brought me back to life when I died, and kept me sane when I thought I was sinking into an abyss and my mind began to betray me. And for that, I will always be in your debt. So, I raise a pint to you all and offer this toast: "May the dogs of war never dry hump your leg". Please say a prayer for me, my wounded comrades, and my Brothers-in-Arms who died two years ago today. I love you all. God Bless You and God Bless America!

Brother Anthony
Director of Mutant Affairs
The Gnome Institute for Human Oddities

Maria Veronica Rose Muller

Hi All, Here is a picture of our newest member to the family. She really is beautiful................Love ya All, Barb