Stop Breathing - You're killing me!

Well, it's finally happened - the government has found a way to regulate our breathing! Every time we exhale we send carbon dioxide into the air. Apparently, this remarkable process we call breathing is actually detrimental to our health and will kill us all through global warming! Despite all evidence to the contrary, our geniuses in Washington have determined that we are in dire straits due to "climate change" and/or "global warming"! To protect us, we must stop living - at least stop living the lives we have been accustomed to. Wel,, we really don't have to stop living, we just can't exhale anymore. Don't exercise too uch, or play too hard, because that causes you to breathe more and produce more pollutants that will kill you and everyone around you. It's been shown that the leading cause of death is second hand carbon dioxide inhalation. In a recent study, every dead body examined was found to have had carbon dioxide in their bloodstream!

This new power to regulate, taken to extreme, can even allow our government to determine the number of children we can produce, and the number and type of animals we raise for pets and food. After all, each of these exhale and otherwise produce carbon emissions.

It's a shame these geniuses were not around to save the dinosaurs. Then again, perhaps they would have expedited their departure as those monsters must have produced incredible amounts of exhaust! Not to mention the vegetation they destroyed in the process!

Please, stop this madness before it starts! Do as Nancy Reagan asked and "just say no!" to enacting any regulation. Go to StopEPA.com to learn more and let your voice be heard! Just don't breathe while you do it.

Gnome out!