My Boyfriend's Sister by Madeline Muller
On April 22, 2007, my boyfriend's sister, Joanna Dalton Knepper, was killed in a car accident involving a drunk driver. She was 24-years-old. Yesterday, September 26, 2008, the woman who caused the accident was finally sentenced. We have waited a long, painful year-and-a-half for some justice, and all Antonia Ramirez was sentenced to is 10 years in prison followed by 5 years of probation, plus 1000 community service hours and her driver's license revoked for life. Now, I'm not saying 10 years in a federal prison is a walk in the park, but let me tell you a little bit about Joanna, and you can tell me if you feel like justice has been served.
When Nate and I started dating and he introduced me to his family, I fell completely in love with all of them. You know how sometimes you think, 'where did all the good people go?' Well, Nate's parents and sister are three of some of the best people I have ever met. His parents are devout, conservative Christians, with an unbelievable love for God and a faith so strong, and his sister was a beautiful, sweet, girl with so much ahead of her. When I met Joanna, she welcomed me with open arms. I frequently went out to lunch with Nate, his mom, Joanna, and Joanna's boyfriend Chris, and being with them was such a pleasure.
Joanna, like I said, had SO much ahead of her. She was a graduate of University of Tennessee, where she received her B.A. in Sport Management, and soon after, she decided that she wanted to do something different with her life. She moved to Orange Park, Florida, where we live, in the summer of 2006 and began taking classes at the Educator Preparation Institute at St. John's River Community College because she wanted to be a teacher. She felt like that was her calling. Joanna's graduation from school and the official distribution of her teaching license was scheduled for April 24, 2007, just two days after she died. She never got to graduate.
The week before Joanna died, her boyfriend of five years, Chris, asked her father for his permission to propose to Joanna. This was something she was looking forward to very much. Chris even moved in with the Kneppers and lived with them for about five weeks when Joanna died. Chris has been playing baseball his entire life, and right before the accident, Chris was offered a pitching position in the Major Leagues. Seriously. He was about to make it big time. When the accident happened, Chris was driving, Joanna was in the passenger seat, and her best friend Megan was in the backseat. They were driving home from a night at the beach. At 1:45 AM, on April 22, Antonia Ramirez struck Joanna's vehicle from behind, going at least 53 mph in a 45 mph zone, according to the Florida Highway Patrol, causing the Explorer they were in to flip and killing Joanna on impact. Chris was seriously injured. 8 of his ribs were broken, he had a collapsed lung, he was concussed, and he blacked out until he was at the hospital. Megan made it out okay, with some bruises and scratches. It took Chris almost 2 months to physically heal from the accident and that combined with losing the woman he was about to marry ended his professional baseball career. He tried, believe me, he tried so hard to make it on that field. But he just couldn't, and according to the letter he read in court yesterday, he can't and doesn't want to play baseball because he knows Joanna isn't in the stands cheering him on.
Joanna and her mom were very, very close. Her mom went from planning her wedding to planning her funeral. There is this beautiful place called Club Continental that sits right on the river and that's where Joanna had frequently talked about wanting to hold her wedding. Instead, that's where her funeral reception was held. Instead of picking out a wedding dress with Joanna, her mom had to go through her closet and decide on what outfit she would be buried in. Her mom tells me all the time that the only thing that keeps her going day after day is knowing she'll see Joanna again in heaven. And I think to myself, could I EVER be that strong? No. I know I couldn't.
Nate is a mess. His big sister is dead. His entire life, he's had her, and now, everything he thought he would share with her in the future is gone. We cry together sometimes. Sometimes we stay up late and talk about her and how unfair all of this is, and how completely wonderful she was, and we just cry. Nate and I have arguments sometimes and I can just TELL that there's something not right in him, and sometimes it just fuels our arguments. But he told me one night, "Maddie, I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you. It's just that ever since my sister died, I haven't been the same." The day Joanna died, she, Chris, and Megan were headed out to Jacksonville Beach to hang out. Nate told me that all that day, he and his dad were kind of arguing, and he vented to his sister about it. She was standing in the bathroom, straightening her hair, and Nate was next to her complaining, and she just looked at him in the mirror and said, "Nate, it's okay. I love you." And that was the last thing she ever said to him.
What gets me the most is that Joanna was 100% innocent that night. She didn't do anything wrong at all, ever. She went to college, graduated, had a fabulous boyfriend, she was about to become a teacher, and them BAM! She's gone. And all of the things she worked for are gone. And for what? Joanna was robbed that night. Her parents and Chris and Nate have been robbed. You know, you go through your entire life doing things the right way, and you become this great member of society who offers so many people happiness, and then at age 24, someone kills you. I don't think I have accepted her death yet, and I don't know when I will be able to. And what about her family? They may never accept it, and I don't blame them one bit.
Yesterday at the sentencing, we were there for 4 hours because the defense attorney was trying to comvince all of us that Antonia was a good person, she was generally responsible, she never went out and partied, yada yada. The night of the accident, her blood alcohol level was .156 and the legal limit in Florida is .08. TWICE THE LEGAL LIMIT, and you know what she said? She said she only had one martini, and she truly believed she was okay to drive. Pardon me, but that is utter BULLSHIT. Antonia Ramirez is 26-years-old, and she has a 7-year-old son. Not only that, but prior to giving birth to him, she had given birth to a stillborn. So, as a teenager, she gave birth TWICE, and the defense is trying to convince me that this woman is RESPONSIBLE? I think not. Her son is, according to the defense, "severely handicapped with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder." Well, to me, if you have these disorders at age 7, there is obviously something wrong with the way you were brought up. That is yet another point lost in the responsibility department. She was finally sentenced to 10 years in prison. While that's a lot, that's not enough. Not only that but she probably won't even serve the entire 10 years since people always get out early on good behavior and such. You know, I'd definitely wait patiently for 10 years if that meant Joanna would come back. But she won't, and Antonia Ramirez will be, at the oldest, 36 when she is released from prison. This is not a comforting thought at all.
The Kneppers are semi-happy with the sentence. They're just still numb from everything. I mean, for the last year and a half, we've been a part of this justice system charade. How does it take a year and a freaking half to sentence someone? And this crap happens all the time!
So has justice been served? I don't feel like it has. Maybe I need more faith. I don't know. I feel like there is not a good enough reason at all that Joanna is dead, not even that it was "her time" to go. Joanna was SO close, SO SO SO close to everything she had ever wanted. She did everything she was supposed to do. She was a good girl, a fabulous girl! She was that girl who everyone liked. And she's gone.
Hundreds of people came to her funeral. This girl really touched people. People have begged her parents to keep her cell phone still turned on, so that they can call it and hear her voice on her voicemail. Chris told me right after all of this happened that he kept having this dream, the same dream over and over, where he would hear his cell phone ringing and it was Joanna's ringtone, but he just could never find the phone to pick it up. People still leave Joanna Myspace and Facebook comments, they send flowers and cards and pictures to her grave, and many of her friends keep in close touch with the Kneppers. I'm crying as I write this. This family has truly been robbed.
I miss Joanna very, very much. I think about her every single day. And my pain is not even comparable to the pain of her parents and Nate and Chris. Nothing good has come from any of this. It doesn't make sense, it's not fair, and I could go on forever but it doesn't change a thing.
So please, keep the Knepper family in your prayers. Pray that their faith will never cease, so that maybe some day they can feel like they have closure. They are such stronger people than I could ever be. I thank God for them. I really do.
RIP Joanna Dalton Knepper
September 4, 1982 - April 22, 2007
When Nate and I started dating and he introduced me to his family, I fell completely in love with all of them. You know how sometimes you think, 'where did all the good people go?' Well, Nate's parents and sister are three of some of the best people I have ever met. His parents are devout, conservative Christians, with an unbelievable love for God and a faith so strong, and his sister was a beautiful, sweet, girl with so much ahead of her. When I met Joanna, she welcomed me with open arms. I frequently went out to lunch with Nate, his mom, Joanna, and Joanna's boyfriend Chris, and being with them was such a pleasure.
Joanna, like I said, had SO much ahead of her. She was a graduate of University of Tennessee, where she received her B.A. in Sport Management, and soon after, she decided that she wanted to do something different with her life. She moved to Orange Park, Florida, where we live, in the summer of 2006 and began taking classes at the Educator Preparation Institute at St. John's River Community College because she wanted to be a teacher. She felt like that was her calling. Joanna's graduation from school and the official distribution of her teaching license was scheduled for April 24, 2007, just two days after she died. She never got to graduate.
The week before Joanna died, her boyfriend of five years, Chris, asked her father for his permission to propose to Joanna. This was something she was looking forward to very much. Chris even moved in with the Kneppers and lived with them for about five weeks when Joanna died. Chris has been playing baseball his entire life, and right before the accident, Chris was offered a pitching position in the Major Leagues. Seriously. He was about to make it big time. When the accident happened, Chris was driving, Joanna was in the passenger seat, and her best friend Megan was in the backseat. They were driving home from a night at the beach. At 1:45 AM, on April 22, Antonia Ramirez struck Joanna's vehicle from behind, going at least 53 mph in a 45 mph zone, according to the Florida Highway Patrol, causing the Explorer they were in to flip and killing Joanna on impact. Chris was seriously injured. 8 of his ribs were broken, he had a collapsed lung, he was concussed, and he blacked out until he was at the hospital. Megan made it out okay, with some bruises and scratches. It took Chris almost 2 months to physically heal from the accident and that combined with losing the woman he was about to marry ended his professional baseball career. He tried, believe me, he tried so hard to make it on that field. But he just couldn't, and according to the letter he read in court yesterday, he can't and doesn't want to play baseball because he knows Joanna isn't in the stands cheering him on.
Joanna and her mom were very, very close. Her mom went from planning her wedding to planning her funeral. There is this beautiful place called Club Continental that sits right on the river and that's where Joanna had frequently talked about wanting to hold her wedding. Instead, that's where her funeral reception was held. Instead of picking out a wedding dress with Joanna, her mom had to go through her closet and decide on what outfit she would be buried in. Her mom tells me all the time that the only thing that keeps her going day after day is knowing she'll see Joanna again in heaven. And I think to myself, could I EVER be that strong? No. I know I couldn't.
Nate is a mess. His big sister is dead. His entire life, he's had her, and now, everything he thought he would share with her in the future is gone. We cry together sometimes. Sometimes we stay up late and talk about her and how unfair all of this is, and how completely wonderful she was, and we just cry. Nate and I have arguments sometimes and I can just TELL that there's something not right in him, and sometimes it just fuels our arguments. But he told me one night, "Maddie, I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you. It's just that ever since my sister died, I haven't been the same." The day Joanna died, she, Chris, and Megan were headed out to Jacksonville Beach to hang out. Nate told me that all that day, he and his dad were kind of arguing, and he vented to his sister about it. She was standing in the bathroom, straightening her hair, and Nate was next to her complaining, and she just looked at him in the mirror and said, "Nate, it's okay. I love you." And that was the last thing she ever said to him.
What gets me the most is that Joanna was 100% innocent that night. She didn't do anything wrong at all, ever. She went to college, graduated, had a fabulous boyfriend, she was about to become a teacher, and them BAM! She's gone. And all of the things she worked for are gone. And for what? Joanna was robbed that night. Her parents and Chris and Nate have been robbed. You know, you go through your entire life doing things the right way, and you become this great member of society who offers so many people happiness, and then at age 24, someone kills you. I don't think I have accepted her death yet, and I don't know when I will be able to. And what about her family? They may never accept it, and I don't blame them one bit.
Yesterday at the sentencing, we were there for 4 hours because the defense attorney was trying to comvince all of us that Antonia was a good person, she was generally responsible, she never went out and partied, yada yada. The night of the accident, her blood alcohol level was .156 and the legal limit in Florida is .08. TWICE THE LEGAL LIMIT, and you know what she said? She said she only had one martini, and she truly believed she was okay to drive. Pardon me, but that is utter BULLSHIT. Antonia Ramirez is 26-years-old, and she has a 7-year-old son. Not only that, but prior to giving birth to him, she had given birth to a stillborn. So, as a teenager, she gave birth TWICE, and the defense is trying to convince me that this woman is RESPONSIBLE? I think not. Her son is, according to the defense, "severely handicapped with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder." Well, to me, if you have these disorders at age 7, there is obviously something wrong with the way you were brought up. That is yet another point lost in the responsibility department. She was finally sentenced to 10 years in prison. While that's a lot, that's not enough. Not only that but she probably won't even serve the entire 10 years since people always get out early on good behavior and such. You know, I'd definitely wait patiently for 10 years if that meant Joanna would come back. But she won't, and Antonia Ramirez will be, at the oldest, 36 when she is released from prison. This is not a comforting thought at all.
The Kneppers are semi-happy with the sentence. They're just still numb from everything. I mean, for the last year and a half, we've been a part of this justice system charade. How does it take a year and a freaking half to sentence someone? And this crap happens all the time!
So has justice been served? I don't feel like it has. Maybe I need more faith. I don't know. I feel like there is not a good enough reason at all that Joanna is dead, not even that it was "her time" to go. Joanna was SO close, SO SO SO close to everything she had ever wanted. She did everything she was supposed to do. She was a good girl, a fabulous girl! She was that girl who everyone liked. And she's gone.
Hundreds of people came to her funeral. This girl really touched people. People have begged her parents to keep her cell phone still turned on, so that they can call it and hear her voice on her voicemail. Chris told me right after all of this happened that he kept having this dream, the same dream over and over, where he would hear his cell phone ringing and it was Joanna's ringtone, but he just could never find the phone to pick it up. People still leave Joanna Myspace and Facebook comments, they send flowers and cards and pictures to her grave, and many of her friends keep in close touch with the Kneppers. I'm crying as I write this. This family has truly been robbed.
I miss Joanna very, very much. I think about her every single day. And my pain is not even comparable to the pain of her parents and Nate and Chris. Nothing good has come from any of this. It doesn't make sense, it's not fair, and I could go on forever but it doesn't change a thing.
So please, keep the Knepper family in your prayers. Pray that their faith will never cease, so that maybe some day they can feel like they have closure. They are such stronger people than I could ever be. I thank God for them. I really do.
RIP Joanna Dalton Knepper
September 4, 1982 - April 22, 2007
posted by QueenGnome | 12:10 PM
6 Comments:
To Maddie, Chris, Nate & the parents of Joanna, my prayers are with you all. I understand the pain of losing a child, and no, you will never be the same. You lose a part of you when your child dies, and will never get that back.
I can only pray that eventually, you will have some peace.
God Bless,
Aurelia
Maddie, Nate, Chris and the parents of Joanna,
I am truly sorry for your loss and I will keep you all in my prayers. I understand how you feel that the justice system has let you down but no matter what the driver got it would never bring Joanna back and to those of you who knew and loved Joanna it would never be enough even if she got death or life in prison because you feel cheated for not having her in your life now.
This is not going to be easy but you say that Joanna was a beautiful person and wanted to do more for people so you have to think about what she would have said to you if she could.I think she would say dont hold a grudge for this woman let it go and dont mourn my death but rejoice in the life that I had. Dont let anger darken your heart let my love for you lighten your life. Know that I am with my Lord and that we will all betogether again. Live life to the fullest not only for yourself but for me also.
I dont know how long it will take but keep your faith and let it grow strong and let the Good Lord help you through this and you will find peace.
God Bless You All,
Barb
Maddie, my darlin', I have to agree with Barb. no matter what the sentence, it would never be enough. You would all still feel cheated. Keep her memory alive by living the best life you can live. You, Nate, and her family will have to find a way to forgive this woman for what she has taken from you. It won't be easy, but you will need to do it.
We'll be praying for all of you.
Uncle Jim
Beautifully put everyone. Maddie I will keep you and everyone in my thoughts. Please use this as a reminder to take the keys away from friends who are drunk. Don't let people drink and drive. xoxo
Dear Maddie and Nate My heart aches for you and for Joanna's family. I pray that Our Father in heaven will bring comfort to you all. Joanna is with Him now and one day you will all be reunited with each other. Try to forgive the woman who ended Joanna's life she has to live with this for ever.
Maddie you and Nate are too beautiful and too good to hold on to this hatred don't let it destroy you I know Joanna would want you to go on and live for her.
God Bless you all I love you my prayers are with you all.
Love Grandma
maddie,nate and family
it is very hard to lose somenine you love and treasure so dearly especially when it is the fault of another being unresponsible and somethiong that could be avoided if that person had been thinking straight,but you are so young and have such a long life ahead of you god willing so do not let your hatred of this woman cloud your life.you must forgive and have faith in god that someday you will see joanna again.my prayers and thoughts to you all and hang in there
love you very much
aunt teresa
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